• Whitney Nichole

Clit Talk

Let's talk clit and vulva After all I see a lot of it on the daily. I see big, small, red, brown, pink clit, I see obvious clit, hiding clit, split clit, protruding clit, hooded clit and exposed clit....all beautiful clits! It is an honor to witness the wide array of shapes, sizes and colors that make the millions of sacred Yonis' we harbor between our thighs. Like so many women I meet, I had insecurities about my nether regions.I often questioned, was I normal, was it pretty? was it too big..too dark? what is a vagina supposed to look like? I grew up most of my life believing that I was supposed to look like barbie, smooth, with no real representation of a human vagina. I guess my insecurity started in my prepubescent years, as a child playing house with her barbie. There was an instinctual curiosity to check out their private parts, hoping to witness a real glimpse of this secret space that we do not talk about. What if instead of blurring out or erasing this powerful sacred space we all have, we made barbies to look like us, and each one looked different. Would we embrace our uniqueness with confidence and acceptance? I will never forget talking about vaginas with my cousin when I was in 9th grade, she made a comment that, during a discussion with her mother, she was told if your vagina was"not tucked in" or if there was any skin hanging out, it meant that the girl had a lot of sex and in turn was a slut. I will never forget that conversation. Simply because now I was super confused, you see I was still a virgin, yet my vulva and clit were not tucked away nicely. Did this mean I was a slut?? You see there are so many things and interactions that influence our own self body image. I had not, until that day questioned if my vagina was "bad," This was the first negative association I had with my lady bits. When I finally did the deed and lost my virginity, I was not afraid if it would hurt, nor was I nervous about what it would be like. Instead I was ashamed and worried that when he saw my clit, he would be disgusted and think I was a slut who had too much sex! In fact I remember lying to him about being a virgin, because in my head I thought he would not believe me once he saw my lady. I had a distorted and misunderstood idea of what a vagina was supposed to look like! It was not until I met my x husband that I slowly started to embrace the way my vagina looked, That is one thing I am grateful for, learning to accept my vagina as beautiful. I saw my first porn at the age of 15, the woman on the porn had a large vulva and hooded clit, and I remember my first thought was, how disgusting, she is a slut! I had adopted the narrow statement of my cousins conversation as a core belief, a conversation I had heard second hand. That is how powerful words can impact a young child's perception and understanding of themselves and their body image. You see all it took was a simple 15 min conversation, that statement took several years of seeing vaginas in porn's for me to erase that belief. I respected and trusted my aunt, I had no reason to believe that what she said was a result of her own personal experience and understanding of her body and the influences she had in regards to this taboo space. I can finally say at the prime age of 31,and the 5,000 plus vaginas I have waxed, I have finally adopted my own understanding of this sacred space and the way a vagina is supposed to look like. Every single vagina is unique, not one is identical, similar but never identical All different colors, sizes, shapes, and lengths. All beautiful! I love my vagina and I am so grateful for my clit, they give me pleasure and help relieve my stress. I now have a healthy relationship with my lady bits. I even talk to her! I tell her I love her and she is beautiful! I encourage all the ladies reading this to develop a healthy relationship with your Yoni. Talk about her and talk to her with love. Please share your experiences and stories about how you came to know your vagina, please write a blog here, it is a safe forum to talk, heal and connect. Let's start a clit-eral revolution!



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